aannnndd...we're back!

Sorry about that little impromptu vacation. I spent my evenings last week working Vacation Bible School at my church, and I was too wiped out to post when I got home at night. For those of you who aren't familiar with this phenomenon, it involves five nights of singing, dancing, screaming, squealing kids--and five workdays of being so tired you feel like you're going to die. Our church invites all of the neighborhood rugrats (in addition to our members' kids, of course), for a week of learning Bible stories, doing crafts, playing games, and singing songs. I helped to lead the group opening and closing activities, which were specifically designed to get the kids as hyped-up as possible. Figure in the kool-aid and cookies that we fed them for snack, and they were absolutely out of their little minds by the end of each evening. I think I had an advantage over some of the other workers, though, since I don't have any kids of my own. At the end of the night, I was able to retreat to my lovely,quiet, peaceful domicile, without any tiny jacked-up sugar fiends to keep me up until 1 am. All in all, we had a great time, but it was exhausting. I'm still recovering, so I'm going to take a couple of days and work on a real post. Just be thankful that I don't have any videos of those dance moves I was teaching last week. Trust me...no one wants to see that.

Can you spare a smiley for me?

Crocs, say it ain't so!

This segment on the CBS Evening News tonight has shaken me to the core. It seems that I may have bought my last pair of my beloved Crocs. The company lost over $185 million last year, and they only have until September to pay back the losses. Financial analysts are predicting that they're not going to make it.

(My very own pink Croc maryjanes, courtesy of Mr. Nerd)

I know, I know...most people hate Crocs. A Google search for "I hate Crocs" returned 258,000 hits, including a blog devoted entirely to loathing the colorful foam footwear. But, you know what? I don't care what people think! I wear Crocs and I am not ashamed to admit it.

My first encounter with Crocs was about four years ago, when I was having a lot of pain from an old ankle injury. I did a Google search for "therapeutic shoes" or somesuch, and the Crocs website was one of the hits. I read several reviews, tried on a pair, and I was sold. (The fact that they come in all kinds of gaudy wild colors was just a bonus.) Sure, they're ugly--there's no denying it. I would never wear them in a situation that called for more formal footwear. But, they are also comfortable. I torture my feet in heels at least four days a week, and on the weekends my little piddies demand a rest. Walking in Crocs, even all day, is heavenly. They're great for gardening, too; you can get them filthy, muddy, and wet, run them under the hose, and they're good as new. I have four pairs (including the fleece-lined ones for winter), and I will be sad to see them go.

On the bright side, though, if the company needs to make a lot of cash fast, maybe they'll have a sale! Shopping always makes me feel better.

What does your Shuffle say about you?

Okay, I gotta be honest. I saw this meme on Facebook, and I thought it looked like fun. I was going to just post it to my Facebook, but then I realized that it was high time that I came up with a blog post and, frankly, I was way too tuckered to write anything. But! I have a (sort of) good reason. I volunteered for some new responsibilities at work, and, between those and returning after ten days' vacation, my poor wee brain is so overwhelmed that I am simply not capable of coherent thought tonight.

So, here's the deal: the instructions said to set my iPod to Shuffle, and list the first 15 songs and artists that come up. I think this is supposed to tell you something about me. (Besides the fact that I'm too lazy to write a real post, that is.)

My Shuffle
"Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)" - U2
"SexyBack" - Justin Timberlake
"Think of Me" - Phantom of the Opera soundtrack
"Desire" - U2
"Summer Wind" - Michael Buble
"When Love Comes to Town" - U2
"No Action" - Elvis Costello
"Kissing A Fool" - Michael Buble
"Green Shirt" - Elvis Costello
"Wild Boys" - Duran Duran
"With or Without You" - U2
"(I Don't Want to Go to)Chelsea)" - Elvis Costello
"Only the Good Die Young" - Billy Joel
"Cavalleria Rusticana: Intermezzo" - Pietro Mascagni
"View to a Kill" - Duran Duran

As you have probably guessed, I'm kind of all over the place musically. I'm not going to tag anyone, since I always feel guilty when I don't do memes. But, if you would like to use this idea on your blog, feel free! And, I promise at least one actual post before I start teaching Vacation Bible School next week. (Shudder.)

Please excuse our dust...

Since I have been on vacation from work this week, I decided it may be time to re-do the blog...again. I have always wanted a custom header (but didn't want to pay for it), so I decided to try my hand at using a nifty little tool called ScrapBlog. A short seven hours later, I had a new header! ScrapBlog is pretty easy to use--the only reason it took me seven hours is because I am a total doofus when it comes to things like that. Some of the backgrounds, stickers, etc., require that you purchase credits from the site, but I used only the free items for my header. I do need to give major props to Sneaky Momma Blog Design. Without all the awesome tips and tutorials there, I would never have found ScrapBlog, or learned how to install my new header. All things considered, I am pretty happy with the result...particularly since it was free.

I am considerably less pleased, however, with the way the rest of the blog looks to go along with the header. Using the "edit HTML" function that Blogger offers was pretty difficult for me, and it bugs me that the colors don't match the header very well. Me, OCD? Why, yes! How did you ever guess? So, this is where you come in. I really would love to get some feedback on the new look. Please let me know what you think in a comment, as an email, or on Facebook!

And now...the long-awaited product review!

A few weeks ago, I purchased a new product that purported to "redefine your body's contours" and "reduce your waist, hips, and thighs by as much as two centimeters." At $12.99, it was a little pricey, but I thought it would be worth it if it could help me do something about my thighs. ("Thunder" doesn't adequately describe them. "Tornado" or "tsunami" thighs would probably be more appropriate.) I tried Nivea's My Silhouette for (roughly) six weeks. The packaging indicated that I should see results in four weeks, but...I didn't. So, I decided to give it a bit longer, since I was feeling generous and really hoping that it would work.

The result? Well, mostly inconclusive. I didn't actually measure any of my body parts, so I don't know if they're two centimeters smaller or not. Also during this period, I cut out nightly desserts and started doing Pilates, so any loss of centimeters could be attributed to that, rather than the lotion. My skin does feel nice and smooth, but I think my regular $2.99 Suave lotion would produce the same result if it was diligently applied twice a day, as I did with the Silhouette cream. The skin on my stomach did seem just a bit firmer, but the thighs, despite all my wishing and hoping, are completely unchanged. All in all, I would have to say that I did not get the results that Nivea says to expect from this product.

If you are interested in trying My Silhouette, I would recommend that you not go into it expecting a miracle. I am willing to accept, however, that it might work for someone else, and that my thighs may just be beyond all hope. So, if you decide to try it and get good results, please let me know. On the plus side, the cream smells really nice. I don't think I will buy another tube, though. Instead, I plan to spend that $12.99 on Good-bye Cellulite Gel-Cream, which is Nivea's new hail damage-busting product. What can I say? I am skeptical about a lot of things, but the dream of having thighs that don't jiggle will make me haul out my wallet every time.

Smiley me, please!

Why does it seem like everyone is turning into my grandmother?

You can't turn on the television these days without hearing someone talk about poo.

Oh, they're not explicitly discussing poo. It's all about "digestive health." Activia. Align. FiberOne. FiberPlus. There is even a brand of bottled water that contains extra fiber. They talk about pre- and probiotics, natural enzymes, and "cleansing" your body. In one of the commercials, the actress has even developed a little hand signal that, I presume, indicates that her innards are now functioning like a well-oiled machine, thanks to Activia. I'm sure you've seen plenty of these products by now, but you may be wondering: What does all this have to do with my grandmother?

I don't know if it was a generational thing, or just a personality quirk, but my grandmother could not exist without keeping tabs on the state of everyone's bowels. (She was a wonderful woman otherwise, though, and I loved her very much.) It wouldn't have been quite as mortifying if she had sought some privacy in which to make her inquiries, but, throughout my childhood, she would ask me about my bathroom habits in front of anyone and everyone. I was naturally introverted, and her questions made me wish the floor would open up and swallow me. Those conversations usually ended up with me insisting, "No, Granny! I DON'T NEED ANY PRUNE JUICE!!" (Most of the time, I was able to escape the dreaded prune juice. Although a dosing with castor oil was also threatened many times, it never happened. Whew.)

That early embarrassment must have scarred me for life or something, because I passionately hate all of those digestive health commercials. I don't really have a problem with the existence of the products themselves, I just wish we didn't have to discuss them on TV. Although, now that I think about it, maybe I do have a problem with the products themselves. What have we, as a society, done to our bowels to require all that "regulation?" Here's the thing, people: It's not that difficult to regulate your digestive system. Eat some fruits and veggies every now and then! Some whole grain bread! Drink some water! If you do that, everything should be fine...problem solved. Now, you can collect all the money you've been spending on those products, and send it to me instead.

And no, Jamie Lee Curtis, I DON'T NEED ANY ACTIVIA!

Oompa-Loompa-Doop-A-De-Do

This could be the fate that awaits me:



Not because I crossed paths with some bad gum, but due to the astonishing quantity of fruit I've been eating lately. One of my favorite things about summer is the affordability and variety of fresh fruits at the grocery store, so I load up my cart every week. I was cleaning and cutting up this week's fruit haul yesterday afternoon, when I noted the following tally:

• 2 pounds of strawberries
• 1 pound of cherries
• 1 pound of grapes
• 2 pints of blueberries
• 8 bananas
• 1 cantaloupe
• 2 large deli-cut bowls of watermelon and fresh pinapple

Since I've been eating this much fruit every week for the past month, I fully expect to blow up like Violet Beauregarde any day now. I can only hope that the Oompa-Loompas roll me past that chocolate river on the way to be squoze.

Coming this week: I question the ever-increasing number of "digestive health" products on the market, and the follow-up to my fascinating product review!