Thursday, January 28, 2010

The worst of the words

After reading Kathy’s post about her sister Maureen’s “list of words, phrases or topics that are either prohibited or encouraged in her lunch room at work,” I decided it was time for me to go public with my own (and my sister’s) word-phobia. My sister Melissa and I have been compiling a “forbidden words” list for as long as I can remember, with new terms added all the time. They include:

bud (this one is Melissa’s; I’m not really too troubled by it)
rupture (It’s usually associated with something that sounds horribly painful.)
tongue (I know, I’m really weird! I can’t help it.)

And the worst offenders:

moist (bleegggh! This was on Kathy’s sister’s list as well)

and (I can hardly bear to type it)

Ewewewewew!!! I just can’t bear it. What, may I ask, is wrong with “underpants?” It’s a perfectly good word, and provides a very accurate description of what the item does. It goes under your pants. Or call them “underwear” or even “drawers” or “bloomers.” I don’t really care what other term we come up with for them, I just think that that word should just be stricken from the English language forever. Ew.

I can’t speak for my sister on this, but I also have a really difficult time with body part words. For instance, if I ever had to say the word “penis“ in front of another living human being? I would just fall over and die on the spot. In fact, just typing it, all alone in my living room, has made me blush furiously. I understand that these words may need to be used for medical purposes, so they can’t be stricken from the language, but just don’t expect me to say them. Ever. If something goes awry with one of the body parts that I am unable to speak of, I’ll just have to write the doctor a note or draw a cartoon or something. Or, you know, maybe just go ahead and expire from whatever the ailment is, since I will want to anyway once the doctor says any of those words to me. I feel a little faint just thinking about it.

So, do you have any prohibited words? Leave them in the comments! I always thought that this was something particular to my family, but apparently there are a lot of us out there.


Jaffer said...

I would have messaged you privately if it was possible - But Kathy's sister is called "Marlene".


I can see many words related to the human body in your list - goodness you are sensitive !

So I can't tongue-in-cheek and say mucus-sac ?

Junk Drawer Kathy said...

Oh, you're both so funny! Pus and mucus go hand in hand for my gross out list. It cracks me up that you don't like "panties." I have to say I love "underpants," though. Ever since Harley was seen wearing a tiny pair on his head over at Daisy's blog, I try to use the word whenever possible.

I'm with you on "penis." I don't think I've said it out loud. Ever. Too embarrassing!

annof thejunkdrawerblogfamily said...

Hi. Ann here, Kathy's other sister. I agree completely with both of these lists. Unfortunately, I am forced to utter many of these words as part of my job as a nurse in an ambulatory setting. I die a little bit with each usage.

SuziCate said...

Snot! I hate that one!

absepa said...

Jaffer: Oh noes! I can't believe I bungled the name of the person to whom I was giving props. You can certainly say those long as I don't have to.

Kathy: My sister is so funny when we talk about these words. We both hate "panties" vehemently. Please give my apologies to MARLENE, whose name I screwed up royally!

Ann: Thanks for commenting! I've been reading your comments on other blogs for years. I am SO sorry that you have to deal with these horrid words on a daily basis. That's one of the reasons I'm not suited to a career in medicine.

SuziCate: Snot is a pretty bad one...I don't care for "fungus" very much, either.

JD at I Do Things said...

I think "moist" is at the top of EVERY "prohibited words" list. It's just wrong.

Does anyone else realize that NO ONE would be saying "penis" if it hadn't been for the whole John Bobbitt scandal? It's true. Having to talk about Bobbitt's appendage being lopped off by his angry wife forced the media to start using "penis." And everyone else followed.

Just an interesting tidbit.

As stated on Kathy's post, I can't stand when adults use "nummy," "veggies," or "potty." I'm also oppposed to:




absepa said...

JD: I'm afraid that I'm guilty of saying veggies. I'll try to make sure it's not accompanied by nummy, at least.

I didn't think about gelatinous--you're right, it's horrible!

Mr. and Mrs. Stoneking said...

i loved the title of your blog. very cute! :)