Thursday, March 4, 2010

One burger, please hold the interrogation

I don't like to cook. I don't like it, and Mr. Nerd isn't one of those guys who needs a meat-and-two-veg kind of meal every night, so we often take advantage of the dollar menu at one of our local fast-food joints. Lately, the drive-thru ordering procedure at these places has been making me nuts. Here's why.

Drive-thru person (DTP): Hi, welcome to McArwenby's Bell. Would you like to try our new McMeat Blaster Combo?
Me: No, thank you. I would like a single burger with pi-
DTP: Would you like cheese on that?
Me: No, thank you. Single with pickle, lettuce, and tomato. An order of chicken nug-
DTP: What kind of sauce with that?
Me: No sauce, please. A large order of fri-
DTP: Are you sure you don't want to make that a combo? You could save 19 cents.
Me: No, thank you, just the sandwich and fries. A side sal-
DTP: What kind of dressing?
Me: No dressing, please. That'll be it.
DTP: Would you like to try our new Siberian Tundra MochaJava Freeze?
Me: No, thank you. THAT WILL BE IT. (Who am I kidding?) Well, yeah...small, please.
DTP: Okay, what did you have after the single fish sandwich with pickle, mayo, and onion?
Me: AUUUUGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!! (begin beating head repeatedly on steering wheel)

Seriously, people. I am a good order-er. I speak slowly and clearly, group like items together, and give you a pause between items so you have time to key them in. But I can't do that if YOU WON'T LET ME SPEAK FOR A FREAKIN' SECOND WITHOUT ASKING A QUESTION. (ahem) I would love to roll up to the speaker and immediately say, "I'm going to give you my order, exactly as I want it. If I want cheese, sauce or dressing, I will say so. Do not, under any circumstances, ask me any questions!" But, I don't want to be that person. (And I definitely don't want some irritated drive-thru worker to befoul my Siberian Tundra MochaJava Freeze.) So, is this a widespread tendency with drive-thru restaurants, or is it just a local thing? I'm getting kind of tired of working myself up into a nervous frenzy just for some chicken nuggets. It still beats the heck out of cooking, though.

fast food meal came from here


JD at I Do Things said...

Mmmm. I just LOVE me some McArwenby's Bell.

It took me about 3 months to realize the voice asking me if I'd like to try an iced mocha today (McDonald's drive-thru) was a recording. I kept yelling "NO THANKS!" I bet the live people enjoyed that.

absepa said...

JD: I answered the iced-mocha robot voice several times before I caught on, too. Maybe I should propose a trade-off: they get to laugh at me for talking to a machine, and I can tell them not to ask questions.

SuziCate said...

How frustrating!!!!! This is a really funny post. I think they're like that EVERYWHERE!!!!!