Thursday, October 21, 2010

I only come here seeking knowledge

Do you ever feel like life is giving you more questions than answers? Do you ponder the big existential questions like “who am I?” and “why are we here?” Did you come to my corner today as part of your quest for knowledge? If so, then--ha! You have seriously overestimated the intellectual level of this blog. I don’t have the answer to anything, other than what happens when a dog eats a hairball out of the trash. (You don’t want to know. Trust me.) As a matter of fact, I have some questions of my own. And, since my husband has gotten tired of me pestering him, I’m doing what any rational person with a question does these days. I'm turning to the Internet.

Why do socks have seams in the toes?
Since the weather has turned cooler, I am once again reminded that I hate socks. I only wear them to keep my feet from freezing off. And you know why I hate them? Toe seams. Hard, stabby seams, right in the narrowest part of the shoe where my toes need  all of the available space. We have nano-computers and space shuttles and working artificial organs, and yet the hosiery industry has yet to figure out how to knit a sock without seams. Lame.

Why does my hair go nuts overnight?
A couple of years ago, I got tired of dealing with my super-thick, white-girl-Afro hair, so I cut  it really short  to impart some degree of control. Short hair requires a fair bit of upkeep, so I get a trim every few weeks. Here’s what I don’t understand: One day, it will be fine…acting like normal human being hair, more or less, and able to be styled without too much trouble. The next day—a mere 24 hours later!—it won’t dry, it’s sticking out all over like some deranged Bozo wig, and it takes a crap-ton of hair gel to slick it into some sort of relatively normal shape. And if humid weather gets added into the mix? There might be tears. Quickly followed by a frantic call to set up a haircut appointment.

Why does my clock radio have a mind of its own?
This one has me completely mystified. A couple of Christmases ago, Mr. Nerd bought me one of those really fancy iPod-docking clock radios. It’s very nice, has two alarms, and a bunch of different functions (although it has a 60-page manual and it nearly requires a Computer Science degree to program it). The big mystery, though, is how and why it’s able to change stations of its own free will. Every few months, I re-set the alarm to my preferred radio station. It will work fine for a while, then I’ll notice that I’m waking up to classic rock. Then alternative rock…NPR… contemporary…Top 40, etc. When it lands on a country station (shudder), I know it’s time to start the cycle all over again. And each time I haul out the manual and block out a couple of hours for re-setting the alarm, I wonder.

Those are my questions of the moment. I'll be here playing Bubble Town while I wait for the great minds of the Internet to send me some answers. Bonus points to the first person who correctly identifies the musical reference cleverly hidden somewhere in this post.


Lauren said...

Well, the only question I have an answer to is the sock question. Last Thanksgiving, I had the opportunity to tour a sock company in Nashville, Indiana. The socks are sewn around a tube--literally a tube sock--and even the ones with heels-- So the socks get blown off the tubes and then hand fed through a machine that sews the toes and snips the excess off. If you ever get a chance to get up there, It was a really neat tour and not to expensive! And you get a pair of socks included in the tour! Also, they make socks out of all sorts of neat material (cotton, soy, recycled cotton, and even recycled plastic bottles!)

cardiogirl said...

Okay I've spent way too much time playing Bubble Town (damn you!) and trying to figure out the musical reference. I can't even answer any questions until I find out the musical thing.

I'll be back.

Junk Drawer Kathy said...

You mean other than the Police lyric you used for a title? Hmmm.

I do not like sock seams Sam I Am. It's like a ball of pain. Right there at the big toe. I have gloves that have awesome seams, very sturdy. But you know what? I get holes in them anyway, but not at the seam. I get them on the finger pad area. THAT'S where they need to add reinforcement. OMG!!!!! (But thanks, Lauren, for the sock lesson. Very interesting.)

I have white girl afro hair also. Some days I like it. Some days I want to shave it all off and start over. Sigh.

absepa said...

Lauren: Thanks for the sock least now I kind of understand about the seams. Guess I'll have to wait for the next great mind of the footwear industry to invent a diferent sock-making process. Thanks for commenting!

Cardiogirl: Bubble Town is dangerously addictive. I've been spending hours playing, and I can only make it to level 10. You're welcome.

Kathy: And it's Kathy ftw! {fist bump} I get holes in the fingertips of my gloves, and it's very annoying. The whole point is to keep my fingers from freezing.

You have lovely curly hair, all dark and shiny. I've come as close as my husband can stand to just shaving all of mine off.

cardiogirl said...

Dam. Na. Tion.

I missed that. Completely. Thank you Kathy. There are so many things they would not teach me of in college. I guess this was one of them.

Still got no answers to your questions.