Thursday, October 29, 2009

This is your eviction notice...


To all of the millipedes who have taken up residence in my kitchen, I have just one thing to say: GET OUT. There are five creatures who are authorized to live in this house, and you do not count among that number.

I know that it's getting cold at night now, it has rained so much lately that we need a freakin' ark, and it's much nicer in here than it is outside...but I don't care. That probably sounds hardhearted; but, you freak me out, and I'm not likely to get over that anytime soon. I'm tired of turning on the kitchen light each morning and finding five or six of you creeping around on your many horrible little legs. It's equally foul to have to scoop up and dispose of your shriveled remains (with a paper towel, of course), when you are inconsiderate enough to expire on my linoleum. The worst, though, was when I entered the kitchen the other morning without my glasses. I saw what I thought was a brown leaf on the floor, and brushed it to the side with my foot--only to have blood squirt out of it! I nearly fainted dead away. That was the last straw.

So, millipedes, I'm going to have to ask you to remove yourselves from my domicile immediately. I will permit you to remain on the patio, provided you make no attempt to cross the threshold. If you force me to make a second request, it will be accompanied by insecticide spray.

(image courtest of ohiolandlord.com)

3 comments:

Junk Drawer Kathy said...

Oh, I'm so sorry to read this! I hate those things right after thousand leggers. When they curl up, you don't now if they're dead or sleeping. Cripes! Good luck with your killing spree.

Stacie's Madness said...

same goes for the spiders...for real.

love the new look.

absepa said...

Kathy: Thanks! I need that good luck--these things are driving me nuts. If they're outside, it's okay, but I can't stand creepy-crawlies in my house.

Stacie: Oh, don't get me started on spiders! I'm terrified of them. And thanks!